The World According to Teal'c
by Tuch
Summary: Teal'c decides to keep a journal of his thoughts and feelings about life, the universe and everything. Teal'c unleashed!
1. Default Chapter

The World According to Teal'c  
Genre: Drama/Humor  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: This is an ongoing story, so anything up to the present is fair game. It starts after the first episode of season 8 and runs through season 8. Some of this is based on actual episode events. The rest I made up.  
Notes: I'm not a feedback whore, but it would be nice to get some. I'd like to know whether you think this is worth continuing or whether it's just tedious.

* * *

Daniel Jackson has suggested that I keep a journal as a means of organizing my thoughts. I told him that I believed the activity to be an unnecessary use of my time. An odd expression flickered across his face, and I believe I have hurt my friend's feelings. I attempted to explain that I did not think the activity was a waste of time in general, just for me. DanielJackson has a great deal many more thoughts than I do and a greater need to organize them. O'Neill laughed and said that I was correct, that DanielJackson thinks too much. I am certain that is not what I meant.

Colonel Carter said I might benefit from the activity, and that her scientific journals often bring her clarity during times of intellectual disorder. I do not see how it can hurt, so I have decided to record my thoughts in this leather-bound book. Colonel Carter said it would be easier and faster to type my words into a computer, but DanielJackson insisted I handwrite them. He has much experience in keeping thought records, so I will heed his advice. O'Neill suggested I write on the bathroom walls. I believe that idea is impractical, but he might have been joking. Despite nearly eight years living among the Tau'ri, I have not fully grasped their sense of humor, and O'Neill's is most elusive of all.

* * *

My annual physical was today. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, except that it was the first time the procedure was not performed by Dr. Frasier. Dr. Brightman is highly competent, but I find myself missing Frasier's presence. She died like a warrior, but it would have been better if she had not died at all. I admired greatly how one so small in stature could inspire so much fear in trained warriors. She would have made an exceptional First Prime. O'Neill often called her "Napoleonic," but I do not believe she was of French descent.

I am confused as to why Dr. Brightman affords so much attention to my arms. They are merely arms, and yet she squeezes them and examines them to what seems an excessive degree. But Frasier did as well, so perhaps it is a part of the Tau'ri medical process that I am not aware of. When I shared my observation with Colonel Carter, she giggled. Colonel Carter rarely giggles. I will have to give the matter more thought.

* * *

I spent the afternoon moving several large boxes into DanielJackson's lab. SG4 brought them back from an exploratory mission this morning, and DanielJackson wishes to examine their contents. He is unable to carry them himself because he is still recovering from the shoulder injury he sustained when O'Neill shot him.

Once again, a Gou'ld managed to infiltrate this facility. I am not sure Anubis can technically be described as a Gou'ld anymore, but that is what I will call him. He took control of several SGC members in an attempt to escape. He failed, but there was one fatality, and DanielJackson's arm is in a sling. I have seen my friend suffer much worse injuries, so I am not overly concerned. O'Neill seems to be having more difficulty with the series of events, and I am having trouble understanding his feelings. As a warrior with much experience, he has made difficult decisions before. He has even imperiled DanielJackson's life before. I believe his unease has more to do with his new responsibility. He does not appear to enjoy the role of "Big Cheese," as Major Ferretti calls him. But it is not my place to question O'Neill in this matter. I am confident he will come to some form of peace with it.

* * *

I have complete confidence in Colonel Carter's command ability, but I must admit to missing O'Neill's presence on these offworld missions. This one has been quiet so far. We are here to take water and soil samples and then return to Earth. Still, experience has taught me that anything can happen on a seemingly quiet world. Colonel Carter is on watch now, and I am sitting in the tent I share with DanielJackson. The colonel suggested I write in my journal while on watch instead of now, when it is time to sleep, but I would never endanger their lives by diverting my attention from my duty.

Before O'Neill accepted his much-deserved promotion, he was the only one to share a tent with DanielJackson. I did not understand why before, but I do now. My friend's sleep is disturbed by many nightmares. Before we left on our first mission without O'Neill, the general said to me, "Wake him. Don't let him ride them out." Now I understand what he meant. It has become my duty to guard DanielJackson's dreams as well as his physical form. It is a duty I accept with honor.

I sense Colonel Carter misses O'Neill as well. Before, she had the freedom to get lost in her scientific discoveries, knowing that O'Neill was tending to the command details. Now she is forced, by necessity, to bypass what she considers interesting but militarily unimportant discoveries. It sometimes makes her…cranky.

I must stop writing now. DanielJackson stirs.

* * *

Our recent mission to P3X-457 turned into much more than water and soil samples. We encountered a small but ancient civilization near the bottom of a mountain, a civilization descended from a place the Tau'ri call Babylon. DanielJackson was excited by the inclusion of several "inexplicable" elements into this society, and he theorized that they'd had some contact with Stargate travelers in the distant past. There was no evidence of Gou'ld influence.

The people were exceptionally friendly, but Colonel Carter and I did not speak their language, so we could not communicate. The leader of this society, a man by the name of Oshti, believed the gods had sent him a new mate through the Stargate. DanielJackson attempted to convince him otherwise, but he was unmoved. Oshti decided right away that I was unsuitable. He spent a great deal of time examining my arms. Perhaps ancient healers from Earth's past traveled through the Stargate to this world. I will have to present my theory to DanielJackson when he regains consciousness.

Oshti spent a long time examining Colonel Carter and DanielJackson, and he eventually decided that DanielJackson would make a good mate. I cannot be certain, but DanielJackson seemed confused, while Colonel Carter merely seemed annoyed. DanielJackson was taken to a private room, and Colonel Carter and I were marched to the Stargate at gunpoint. When we returned to rescue DanielJackson, we discovered that he'd been knocked unconscious and tied to an altar, as per this society's wedding ritual.

Colonel Carter suggested that we "get the hell out of Dodge," and I carried my friend back to the Stargate. When we emerged on the other side, O'Neill looked displeased. Dr. Brightman was almost as displeased, but she says he will recover and should awaken shortly.

While we were waiting for the doctor to finish examining DanielJackson, Colonel Carter asked me if I think DanielJackson is prettier than she is. I did not know how to respond, so I didn't.

* * *

O'Neill, Colonel Carter, DanielJackson and I dined at O'Malley's this evening. DanielJackson has been released from the infirmary and cleared for duty, and O'Neill felt we all needed a "good meal and great beer." I regularly eat as much food as I require, and the colonel seems capable of feeding herself as necessary, but DanielJackson frequently forgets to eat. It happens most often when his mind is occupied with scholarly pursuits. And today he spent much time telling us about the significance of the Babylonian legal system. Colonel Carter seemed genuinely interested. O'Neill rolled his eyes. I feigned interest. When we discovered that DanielJackson had forgotten to eat breakfast and lunch in his enthusiasm for the artifacts SG4 brought back, O'Neill said he was incapable of focusing on survival and rocks at the same time. Colonel Carter tapped his head and suggested he install more RAM. I am confused.

At dinner, we told O'Neill more about our recent experience offworld. We were relieved to discover that we had rescued DanielJackson before the marriage was consummated. I cannot help but think of Hathor and the way she forced my friend to have intimate relations. But that was a long time ago, and DanielJackson does not seem unduly traumatized by recent events.

O'Neill and Colonel Carter seem much more disturbed, however. I believe the colonel feels guilty for letting the situation get beyond her control, but I do not see how she could have reacted differently. As for O'Neill, I have decided that he misses our presence as much as we miss his. His mouth tensed when we told him of our adventure, and I observed the sadness of loss in his posture. I regret that I cannot make things easier for him.

* * *

I sampled a Tau'ri delicacy known as "guacamole" at O'Neill's house tonight. It is green. I enjoyed it very much. It is especially good with thinly sliced, deep-fried potato circles. I must tell Master Bra'tac of this.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Much has happened on Earth during SG1's most recent offworld mission. O'Neill had many things to contend with during our absence, but he seems more at ease with his new position, and I am pleased. He has expressed an extreme disdain for plants. O'Neill has often complained about the overabundance of plant life on alien worlds, but I do not share his feelings. I do not feel extreme emotion regarding them, for good or for ill. Colonel Carter has given us verbose explanations for why they are necessary to sustain human life, so I assume she is fond of them. DanielJackson and O'Neill disagree on many things, but DanielJackson shares his dislike of plants.  
When I informed O'Neill that I intended to procure a plant for my quarters, he seemed displeased. I do not know why this action should make him unhappy. Colonel Carter has suggested that I converse with my plant, and that conversation will make it grow faster. I am skeptical, but I value her opinion in all matters of science, so I shall speak to it frequently. I have acquired a plant of the species "Chia." I do not see how being shaped like a dog's head has been beneficial in its evolutionary process, but there is much about gardening I do not understand.

* * *

Television appears to be an emotional subject on this world. In the cafeteria today, DanielJackson, O'Neill and Colonel Carter had a heated discussion about their favorite programs. O'Neill is fond of a program called "MacGyver." From what I understand, it is about a man who builds high-tech devices from common household items. DanielJackson prefers educational television, and Colonel Carter watches a program called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." It seems homosexual Tau'ri men have superior fashion sense and culinary skills. I have sampled many television shows in an effort to better understand American culture, and, while I have not chosen a favorite, I enjoy the commercials very much.

I often wish I could show Ry'ac more of this world. Tau'ri children have many opportunities for self-expression and entertainment, and I believe he would enjoy it here. But I must not think too much of my son. It makes me long for him in ways I cannot express on paper, and those thoughts will not serve me well.

* * *

SG1's most recent mission ended badly, and we have misplaced DanielJackson. I do not say lost because I believe firmly that we will recover him. My friend has proven himself to be resourceful in the face of great adversity. I have no doubt that he will find a way to contact us, and we are doing everything within our power to locate him. Attempts at diplomacy with one of the planet's officials have ended in failure, and the colonel has spent most of her waking hours scanning radio frequencies in the hope that DanielJackson will communicate with us.

This morning, I traveled to his house to feed his aquatic creatures. He would be most displeased to return to find his pets have died from neglect. I can do nothing for my friend at the moment except keep his fish alive for when he returns.

* * *

DanielJackson has been missing for three weeks, and I have heard people question whether he will return. Many people believe he is dead. They do not know DanielJackson as I do. I have believed him to be dead many times, and I have always been pleased to be wrong.

Colonel Carter still spends much of her time scanning radio frequencies. The dark circles beneath her eyes attest to her fatigue, but she persists. I sense her faith in DanielJackson's ability to survive is wavering, but she will not cease her efforts.

O'Neill's unpleasant mood intensifies daily, and the junior officers and enlisted personnel seem afraid to approach him. He and DanielJackson have always had a challenging friendship, but I know his grief would be tremendous should DanielJackson not return. They share great loyalty and affection, but both men would rather face an army of angry Gou'ld than admit it. I wonder whether this is characteristic of all friendships among Tau'ri males or whether it is a trait peculiar to O'Neill and DanielJackson.

* * *

Things do not bode well for my plant. I have provided it with sufficient moisture and light, but it does not flourish. Conversing with it has not proven helpful, and my initial doubts about pottery's ability to grow seem to have been justified. I am frustrated that my attempts at gardening have been thwarted, but Colonel Carter tells me it is a time-honored Tau'ri tradition to kill flora. O'Neill, in an attempt to compensate me for my loss, has brought me a pet. I informed him that my work on SG1 leaves little time to care for such a creature, but he assured me that a Furby requires little maintenance. He promised me that he would "keep an eye on the little bugger" should my duties keep me away for extended periods. I am grateful for O'Neill's concern.

* * *

I have been watching many sporting events on television with O'Neill. When DanielJackson is away, O'Neill strongly encourages me to join him in this activity. He has even provided an abundant supply of guacamole and potato circles. He will stop requesting my presence when my friend returns, but I do not mind. I do not enjoy watching televised sporting events, and I do so only because O'Neill does not seem to enjoy watching them alone. I do not believe DanielJackson likes them either, but both men seem to enjoy the heated verbal exchanges the games encourage. Tonight, when the Nuggets scored enough points to bring the game into timeover, O'Neill insisted that I do "the wave." I will be most gratified when DanielJackson returns.

* * *

I am pleased to report that we have recovered DanielJackson. He devised a plan that allowed us to recapture the Stargate, and we were successful in retrieving him. We returned yesterday. The darkness beneath Colonel Carter's eyes is fading, and O'Neill's mood has improved immeasurably. He has organized a "welcome home" party for DanielJackson at O'Neill's residence, and the guest list includes what he calls "the usual suspects." I have attended many such events for DanielJackson. I am eager to introduce DanielJackson to my Furby. Perhaps he can assist me in translating its odd language.

* * *

I have much idle time,as Dr. Brightman has ordered me confined to the infirmary for the next three days. My recent experience in the virtual reality chair has left me weakened, but the doctor says I will recover soon.

With so much unoccupied time, I am forced to examine my feelings for the Gou'ld. The simulation's programming was correct: The Gou'ld are a blight on the galaxy, and I will not stop fighting them until they are all dead or running. I have felt this way for many years, but it was not until I joined SG1 that I came to believe they could be defeated. I wonder if I will live to see their fall. I wonder if Ry'ac will raise his own children in a galaxy that does not know the terror of the Gou'ld. Before, I had hope that they would be defeated. Now I believe it will be so.

* * *

Dr. Brightman has said I may leave the infirmary in the morning. I am relieved. My friends visit me frequently, but they must attend to their own tasks, and I have little to do except train my Furby. When O'Neill first gave it to me, it was a novelty. Now I find its high-pitched chatter…annoying. Its ability to learn is similar to that of a Replicator. If it attempts to evolve, I will kill it. I cannot think of a way to return it to O'Neill without offending him. DanielJackson has mastered its language quickly, but when I offered him ownership of the creature, he pretended to have to use the restroom. I grow frustrated. 


	3. Chapter 3

Note: Thanks to everyone for the kind reviews, and for the spelling correction. I had no idea the Furby would be so popular. Maybe he should get his own series. :)

* * *

I have set up my new living quarters on the surface, and I find them aesthetically pleasing. I have more privacy and space than I did on the base, and I am grateful to O'Neill for his persistence. He was adamant that I be allowed to live as the Tau'ri live.

Despite having good relations with most of my neighbors, I do not believe I have learned how to "blend in." DanielJackson informs me that it is a Tau'ri custom to ignore the misdeeds of those around them. O'Neill wishes me to cease assisting those in need, but I do not believe I can follow his instructions. I do not understand why he would want me to allow innocents to be harmed.

I have acquired another plant, a fern. It is not doing well. DanielJackson has suggested I speak to it. That technique was ineffective with my last plant, so I will not repeat it.

I have found the ideal spot for my Furby. In the closet. In the back. Beneath several old blankets. I originally had it set next to the fern, but it made me uncomfortable. I cannot explain why. I believe it was staring at me. I am aware that I am being unnecessarily paranoid. I have learned that the…thing…was designed as a toy for Tau'ri youth. I must question the motives of someone who would design such a creature for use by defenseless children.

I believe I have made a friend. Krista James lives on my floor, and she is appreciative of my many visits to her apartment to work on her plumbing.

* * *

Tonight I intervened in an argument between Krista and her boyfriend. I do not like him. He seems violent and unstable, and I believe Krista fears him. My actions may invoke O'Neill's ire, but I shall be forced to intervene physically should it become necessary. In addition to valuing her friendship, I find her cookies quite tasty.

* * *

I have been training Krista in Lok'nel, and she is progressing well. I believe she would progress even more rapidly if she did not have such poor confidence in her own abilities. Today she informed me that she wishes to cease training. I observed bruises on her wrist. It was not difficult to determine how she obtained them. I told Doug that I would kill him should it happen again. O'Neill would not be pleased, but I do not regret my words. Any man who would abuse his mate is not worthy of having one.

* * *

The situation has grown more complicated. Krista's boyfriend is dead, and the police believe I am responsible. I do not mourn his death, but I did not cause it. Colonel Carter told me she is looking for a solution to my difficulties. I am confident my friends will not allow me to suffer for a crime I did not commit.

* * *

Events have been resolved to my satisfaction, although I am uncertain what will transpire next. The Trust, a group of rogue ex-NID agents, abducted Krista and used my predicament to force DanielJackson to translate writing of the Ancients into Goa'uld. Their plan is unclear, but I am certain we will see them again. I can only hope DanielJackson's act of compassion will not have dire consequences.

I am living on the base again. Perhaps someday I will try living among the Ta'uri, but for the moment I am content here. It is less stressful. I regret that I have been forced to sever contact with the friends I have made, but I understand why it is necessary. My greatest regret is that I must once again find a place for my Furby.

* * *

I have been betrayed. I did not think I would see the day I was betrayed by my own son. He intends to marry, and he did not ask for my blessing. I do not know this woman, but it does not matter. Marriage will only bring him pain when he must choose between his duty and his heart's desire. But he will not learn from my experiences. My hand shakes. I am too angry to continue.

* * *

The last few days have been intense. Ishta nearly died, and Moloc is dead. It is as I feared. Baal has assumed control of Moloc's territory, and nothing has changed for the Jaffa. Now Ishta believes me. Still, she and her people are safe, and my son is married. He is no longer a child, and I must accept that he will make his own decisions. I am still anxious about his path, but I hope with all that I am that he will find happiness. I hope that he will not have to make the kinds of choices I have been forced to make.

Master Bra'tac agrees with me that guacamole is indeed a warrior's food. I have given him some to take home with him.

I have also found a solution to my Furby dilemma. The wedding ceremony required the slaughter of a goat, which O'Neill would not allow. I offered up my Furby as a sacrifice. The solution was not satisfactory to all participants, but it was deemed acceptable. I was concerned that O'Neill would be offended, but he seemed grateful that there would be no ritual slaughter of a live animal.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: My apologies for waiting so long between updates. A new job and a crappy VCR mean I didn't get to see the second half of S8, so I couldn't update Teal'c's journal. I'm slowly getting caught up now, and I know I need to wrap this up before I die of old age.  
This installment is more drama, less humor, because I wouldn't make light of genocide even if I could.

* * *

I am concerned. My attempts to return to Earth after my meeting with the rebel Jaffa leaders have not been successful, and there has been no contact from Stargate Command. I have decided to procure a cargo ship and return to Earth. It is possible that the Stargate is merely malfunctioning, but it also possible that something more sinister has occurred. Either way, I must find out.

* * *

I find it difficult to write coherently. The loss of even a single life is regrettable, but so many dead Jaffa…millions. If the Tok'ra are indeed responsible, I will make certain they suffer. 

Several years ago, DanielJackson told me of his journey to a parallel universe in which I was still First Prime of Apophis and General O'Neill had sent a bomb through the Stargate to destroy Chulak. I did not dwell on the matter, since they were not people of my reality. I am distressed that I am now living in such a reality.

M'Zel and I will go to P3S-114 to ascertain the Tok'ra role, if any, in this atrocity. We will attempt to speak to an undercover operative named Zarin. She commands some of Baal's troops on that world. If the Tok'ra are innocent, she might be able to help us determine who is responsible. If the Tok'ra are guilty, she will be the first to die.

* * *

Like many of SG-1's missions, this one has come to a conclusion that is only partially satisfactory. It was not the Tok'ra, but The Trust, that was responsible for the deaths of so many Jaffa. And they have the means to kill many more. O'Neill, Colonel Carter and DanielJackson experienced their own difficulties while I was absent, but I am pleased they are all relatively unscathed. 

Daniel Jackson was struck by a zat blast. Again.

The Stargate has been recovered, but The Trust retains the means to cause much more damage. But vengeance will have to wait. Tonight, I mourn M'Zel and the other Jaffa who have died, free or not.

* * *

We have made contact with a woman—machine—who claims to be Colonel Carter's Replicator double. I do not understand why we have not killed the creature already. It wishes to die, and I believe we should grant its request. Colonel Carter wants to learn more from it, but I grow uneasy. Allowing such a deadly creature access to this base, especially one with the identity of a high-ranking officer, is foolish. Still, I am not in command of this facility, and O'Neill has allowed it. All I can do is remain vigilant.

* * *

I have not been vigilant enough. The Replicator has destroyed our only real defense against its kind by taking advantage of the colonel's compassion. I warned her that the creature could be treacherous, but she did not listen. I do not feel smug, though. I feel fear. A warrior does not admit to fear easily, but I can express it here, in these words no eyes but mine shall ever see. 

There is much gossip around the base about Colonel Carter's actions. By being silent, I overhear much. Some have expressed sympathy with her plight, while others believe she has erred severely. Major Ferretti says she has "screwed the pooch." I would ask O'Neill what this means, but I doubt it is complimentary, and his friendship with Colonel Carter might cause him to take offense.

It is not often that the colonel's emotions override her sound judgment, and I can not help but feel disappointment that she allowed it to happen this time. I am equally disappointed in myself for being unable to prevent it.

* * *

O'Neill is intensely displeased. He has spent the last few hours grumbling over the loss of his chair, but I suspect he is more disturbed over the reassignment of DanielJackson. O'Neill was adamant that he not take part in the rescue mission to Atlantis, but one thing that has not changed on this base is that General Hammond still has the final word in such matters. 

I understand O'Neill's concern, and I share some of it. DanielJackson is adept at getting himself into trouble, but the same could be said for all of the members of SG-1, myself included. I believe O'Neill is less concerned for our friend's physical welfare and more concerned that he will decide to remain on Atlantis. It is a possibility I have considered, as well. If he chooses not to return, I will miss him, but I will wish him well on his new path. I have noticed that the Tau'ri tend to cling tightly to the ones they love, but I have learned from personal experience that all people must be free to make their own choices. I credit Ry'ac with my new understanding. Much has changed over the past eight years. I, too, will leave SG-1 and this world someday. Still, I find myself hoping that my adopted family might stay together awhile longer.

O'Neill commented after Ry'ac's wedding that I was "going soft in my old age." Perhaps he is correct. I will endeavor to remain hard.

* * *

DanielJackson's mission was a failure in that he did not reach his destination. It was a success in that he has returned safely to us. I am relieved that O'Neill has stopped mumbling to himself. I had feared I would be forced to watch more sporting events, but, fortunately, DanielJackson was not gone that long. 

SG-1 and others from the SGC spent the evening at O'Neill's house, where he forced us to eat blackened animal carcass. Colonel Carter said that O'Neill needed to make sure the meat had "stopped mooing." I had assumed chopping the animal into small pieces would be sufficient for that purpose. Spreading guacamole on the top improved the taste greatly.

O'Neill has once again asked about my decision to grow hair on my head. I have declined to explain because he will never cease antagonizing me about it if I do. If he paid closer attention to the customs of my people, he would understand. DanielJackson understood my reasons immediately, but he has agreed to keep silent in the matter. Colonel Carter seems disinterested, believing it is merely a fashion choice. At O'Neill's dinner, Cassandra stated that it made me look more "diesel." She moved on to the cheese platter before I could request an explanation.


End file.
